Once you get married, the next step is often to combine your finances. Not only does this help facilitate daily tasks like paying bills or grocery shopping, but it also allows you to plan for the future – planning for retirement, saving for a home, and working towards your financial goals together.
One Spender and One Saver
It can be very difficult to combine finances when one of you is a natural saver and the other loves to spend extravagantly. The saver may be hesitant to combine finances because they want to protect their savings, while the spender may not want to be accountable for their spending. This can cause trust issues early in the marriage.
A household budget can help build that trust and ensure you are both on the same page regarding finances. However, it is important to approach this carefully. The saver may seem like they are controlling the budget without allowing the spender any input. And don’t forget – it’s important to have a “fun” amount included in your budget. The key is to make sure you can afford the amount you choose.
Credit Card or Debt Issues
Another time it may be acceptable not to combine finances after marriage is when one person enters the marriage with a significant amount of debt or very poor credit history. It can be daunting to take on all that debt. It is also intimidating to join someone with a bad credit history, especially if you are working towards buying a home.
Step back and decide if you love this person enough to be with them despite their significant debt. It’s also wise to find out what caused the debt. Student loan debt is very different from thousands of dollars in credit card debt.
If you decide that having a partner with debt is something you can handle, help your partner come up with a plan to pay off that debt. And remember, the debt will still exist and affect your life even if you don’t combine finances. For example, it may affect your ability to buy your first home together or rent a car.
Substance Abuse Issues
This is a tough issue. However, if there are substance abuse problems in your relationship, it may be best to keep your finances separate if you are already married or to not combine them if you haven’t yet.
You don’t want to deplete your retirement or savings because of gambling or drug addiction. Shopping addiction can have a similar impact. Regardless of the addiction, you will need to seek marital counseling, and your partner should see a counselor on their own to address these issues.
Addiction often leads to financial infidelity, so it is important to protect yourself while dealing with these issues. A similar concern is when your spouse steals your identity and opens a loan in your name without your knowledge.
Previous Relationship Baggage
Everyone comes into each relationship with a certain amount of baggage. Some people may have more than others. Your spouse may be divorced from someone who caused them financial harm, making it difficult to build trust in your new relationship. It may also be due to witnessing their parents constantly fight over money.
Regardless of the issue, this is another situation where marital counseling can really help you feel comfortable enough to successfully combine finances.
The article was updated by Rachel Morgan Couture.
Source: https://www.thebalancemoney.com/combining-finances-after-marriage-2385591
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