It’s wonderful to be in a financial position where you can give to your family and loved ones, and that you’ve received so much support in your growth. How can you show them your appreciation without coming off as arrogant or flaunting your wealth, or making them feel like they need you to take care of them? This really depends on your family.
Expressing Gratitude in Small Ways
I understand the desire to express your gratitude by using your money to ease their lives or spending it on things you think they will love. Your parents worked hard to get you to the place you enjoy today, and studies have shown that well-being increases with income, so it’s natural to want to spoil your family with lavish gifts. But don’t let your wallet speak for you – you can express gratitude in smaller ways too. The first step in expressing your gratitude is to let them know you wouldn’t be where you are today without their help. You can write this in a card, or better yet, by telling them the next time you’re with them.
Avoid Showing Excessive Wealth
Your parents may view their sacrifices for you as part of their role as parents, and one they were happy to fulfill. So they may see your lavish spending on them as if you’re financially putting yourself back, thus nullifying that sacrifice. If they say, like my parents did, that they don’t need anything, you can buy them something small but meaningful. Make sure to be clear with them that any gifts or gestures of thanks do not financially impact you and that it is something you are happy to do.
Attention to Details and Experiences
You’ve expressed concern that any gifts you give might showcase your financial success and affect their independence, especially if they don’t need your financial help. Avoid any gifts that may imply they need you to “save” them, such as paying their bills, or buying something they might consider excessively costly, like a car. Instead, try to get them something thoughtful, like a nice dinner, or a pair of earrings your mother might like. Experiences, where the price can be concealed more easily (like a night at the theater), can be the best way, so they don’t feel resentful about the amount of money you are spending.
Continuing Success and Helping Other Family Members
The best way you can honor their efforts is to continue your success – and to help other family members reach the same success. Your parents worked and sacrificed so you could stand on their shoulders and achieve something they were unable to. Do the same for your children and younger relatives and anyone else in your family by providing guidance, support, assistance, and advice. Continuing to build wealth and success through every generation of your family will be the best way to show them that you understand what they did for you – and why.
– Christine
If you have questions about money, Christine is here to help. Submit an anonymous question and she may answer it in a future article.
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Sources:
– Matthew Killingsworth. “Experienced Well-Being Rises With Income, Even Above $75,000 per Year.” PNAS.
Source: https://www.thebalancemoney.com/how-do-i-give-my-family-gifts-without-upsetting-them-6888933
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