What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation in divorce is the process of meeting with a professional third party so that you and your spouse can resolve issues and reach a mutual agreement regarding the division of assets, minor children, spousal support, and more. It is an alternative to divorce that is settled in court.

How does divorce mediation work?

Divorce mediation is when the couple seeking a divorce hires a professional third party – known as a mediator – to help them make decisions about various aspects of the divorce. Mediation is an alternative to going to court. It often takes less time and is less expensive than litigation.

Mediation typically covers a wide range of disputes, according to attorney John Shea, who spoke with The Balance via email. Areas of dispute include:

• Child custody and visitation schedules
• Division of assets (real estate, personal property, etc.)
• Child support
• Spousal support
• Pension benefits
• Health insurance
• Life insurance

You may even be able to resolve your issues in the first session with the mediator. Once a final resolution is reached, it takes about two weeks for the mediator to draft the settlement agreement and send it to you and your spouse. This phase of the mediation process is known as “pre-filing mediation” – you are trying to resolve matters before going to trial. Once you and your spouse have an agreement, you will meet for a final mediation session to sign the agreement and related documents.

How can mediators help?

A key element in divorce mediation is the mediator – trained professionals who remain neutral as they discuss the issues that need to be resolved.

Divorce attorney and mediator Jennifer Foley from Alter, Wolff, and Foley LLP in New York City stated via email to The Balance that mediators help facilitate the conversation and ask a lot of clarifying questions. The goal? To ensure that each party has a chance to speak and listen – and to make sure they are accurately hearing what is being said.

Foley said her main hope as a mediator is to help couples communicate about their needs and the reasons behind those needs so that the couple can find mutual understanding and resolution. This dispels the common misconception among couples divorcing that the mediator will decide what happens.

Your mediator is not responsible for the final decisions between you and your spouse. Instead, they act as a facilitator who encourages concessions from both sides to reach a solution that meets your family’s needs.

Advantages and disadvantages of divorce mediation

Advantages

• Less expensive and usually faster than other divorce processes
• You and your spouse make the final decisions
• More private
• Usually suitable for uncontested divorces

Disadvantages

• May not be ideal in cases of abuse and addiction
• Can be more complicated when there is shared business involvement

Alternatives to divorce mediation

If you decide that mediation is not the right option for your divorce, there are other alternatives available:

• Arbitration: You and your spouse can hire a professional who makes the final decision regarding the details of the divorce. Generally, you cannot appeal the arbitrator’s decision.
• Neutral early evaluation: This is a pre-trial meeting where an evaluator assesses your divorce proceedings. Neutral early evaluation can lead to settlement.
• Collaborative divorce: Both spouses can hire attorneys and experts, then sit down and discuss the details of the divorce. The goal is to reach a settlement without going to court.

Frequently asked questions

What is a disadvantage of divorce mediation?

There are two main disadvantages to divorce mediation. It may not be suitable if there is domestic abuse, addiction, or substance abuse. Additionally, it may be more complicated when there is shared business involvement.

What is the hardest part of the mediation process?

One of the hardest parts of mediation is communication. The couple will need to talk to each other and share thoughts, which can be difficult when one or both people are unwilling to continue the marriage.

Does

Was this information helpful?

Thank you for your feedback!

Sources:

Reineke Mediations. “Divorce Mediation FAQ.”

Florida Courts. “Mediation in Florida: I’m Going to Mediation. Now What?”

Denman Pearlman. “A Guide To Mediation In Florida Divorce Law.”

Nolo. “How Much Will My Divorce Cost?”

Superior Court of California, Riverside County. “Family Law Private Mediation FAQs.” Click “What Are the Pros and Cons of Private Mediation vs. Adversarial Court Hearings and Trial?”

Levine Family Law Group. “Do I Still Need to Hire a Lawyer If We Are Going to Divorce Mediation?”

Superior Court of California, Riverside County. “Family Law Private Mediation FAQs.”

New York State NY Connects. “Program Divorce Arbitration and Mediation.”

United States District Court Eastern District of Missouri. “Rule 6.01 (FCRP 16): Mediation and Early Neutral Evaluation.” Pages 1-2.

Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute. “Collaborative Divorce.”

Source: https://www.thebalancemoney.com/what-is-mediation-in-divorce-7092250